i have never had feelings of love and care and want that made me cry every time i indulged in thinking about those feelings.
there is nothing i can do to change those feelings and there is nothing i can do to get that person to feel the same way towards me. i knew that when were together and i know that now. i tried being with someone who had those feeling for me.
i am not able to trust anyone right now. i am not able to be in love and deal with any of the negativities of that. i hate everything in this moment.
i am so angry about that relationship and i do not feel like i am allowed to be angry about it. but i hate you for not caring enough about me. you said you did. and you said you would. i hate myself for still caring about you in the same way as when we started.